Your SELF-ESTEEM is based on YOUR perception of you.
What you think and feel about the personal experiences you created for you. Your beliefs, actions and relationships are shaped, sustained or dissolved based on what you choose to give your attention too. Every option is available and you pick what you want to focus and dwell on.
Self-worth is not gathered from EXTERNAL SOURCES, like other people, events or accomplishments. Knowing the most famous, sexy or crazy one doesn’t change what you think about you.
When you tell yourself, lies, pretty stories or focus on mean spirited thoughts you are in a beta brainwave state of consciousness and the dark bandwidth. When you share lies, pretty stories and nasty gossip back and forth, you create hollow, empty, isolating FAKE intimacy. Dark One’s focus on others, only lasts long enough to siphon their energy and possibly take something from them to temporarily make you feel better. Like all addictions there is a few intense moments of distraction only to need another fix.
When trauma has been your childhood experience, the most common reaction is to hate and blame you, to be angry and frustrated about your inability to protect your body, your state of calm and trust others. You have disgust for your needs, feelings and your body that set you up!
SELF-CUTTING is common reaction to sexual abuse and trauma, its repetitive, nonlethal cutting of the body. More females than males cut on themselves. Males get into more vehicle accidents than females do. Self-cutters also have personality or eating disorders. Self-abuse is used to FEEL again. Because of their traumas, they turn their FEELING and senses off; it’s too dangerous to feel, unless they have total control of the experience. The cutter controls the when and how they get hurt. Cutters feel calmer and relaxed after the distraction of cutting the self because THEY are in control of the abuse. In childhood they felt calmer after being abused because that abuse was over temporarily.
Cutting also acts to transform EMOTIONAL pain into something visible when you have no words to express your suffering. Self-cutting is physical pain that can be seen, accepted and treated easier by many.
SCHIZOPHRENIA, Dissociated Identity Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder is a result of the child’s inability to sort out the traumas and nuttiness they exist in. They never feel safe or that there is anyone they can trust. These events and the child’s reactions to them may cause chemical imbalances that need addressing.
AUTISTIC individual’s perceptions are focused on their inner thoughts, daydreams, fantasies and private logic. Autistic people are not emotionally attached to other humans like most of us are. They are great examples of following the law of ALLOWING. They have no desire to FIX you, enable you, judge or blame you and no interest in all the “social customs” humans have created to control people’s behavior.
The autistic individual has difficulty communicating verbally, interacting socially and picking up social cues. They focus on one stimulus at a time, as multiple stimuli are too difficult or distracting for them to process comfortably. Listening and making eye contact at the same time is a challenge and can be almost overwhelming. Generally humans function in a lot of chaos. Language is a clumsy form of communication and limiting, the autistic uses telepathy or pictures to convey concepts, just as animals do. They also telepathically pick up other people’s thoughts like dishonesty, secrets and fears. The autistic and our pets see and communicate with other dimensions we generally deny exist. They have a wider range of vision than most of us have and are able to see gray shapes from the 4th dimension, which they find distracting or upsetting. The gray shapes from the lower fourth are not so friendly.
The RESTRICTED and REPETITIVE behaviors the autistic have is to comfort them and keep them balanced, while they exist in the chaos that is the third dimension and physicality.
Asperser’s disorder is a higher functioning form of autism characterized by strong math skills and extreme personal withdrawal. Dr. Temple Grandin has Asperser’s. She created and developed the squeeze chute to calm down agitated cattle. Squeeze chute is a large metal apparatus that acts like a large clamp calming the cattle. Frequently human touch is painful to the autistic. Partially from immature nerve endings and partially they do not understand or TRUST others. From childhood on Grandin had increasing rages, anxiety and total panic attacks so she decided to build a squeeze chute for herself. She used applied controlled pressure to her body that she could control and discovered it did relieve anxiety in her. A squeeze chute is used in some schools for the autistic child to relieve anxiety.
Regardless of the issues you have experienced the only way to change or alter them is to own them with as much objectivity as possible. Without BLAME, especially do not blame the self, without JUDGMENT, “it is what it is” and without PUNISHMENT, compassion allows. When you are able to observe your experiences without emotion or drama from a higher brainwave state of consciousness, you are able to understand cause and effect better. Then you are able to treat your experiences as a tool for WISDOM gathering. Know it is time to move on to new experiences.
When you stop existing in your WOUNDS and feeding DRAMA, your self-esteem and compassion dramatically improves. That is moving into greater light and knowing that you create your reality and self-esteem. Your soul conglomerate is always there to inform, support and comfort you, just ask. I did not say tell or demand. Give and receive only compassion.